Archive - March, 2009

Surrender – the short road home


Ever wondered how to find Jesus in the middle of confusion? Ever felt like you are so far away it’s tough to know where to begin in turning back to God? Ever had times of confusion, doubt & difficulty? Sometimes life just feels unsuccessful! Even the Christian life can be a struggle filled with disappointments, tough times, and slow progress.

Peter struggled as he watched a crowd of over 5,000 walk away from Jesus. But in the middle of uncertainty he continued to believe & to follow hard after Christ. His words offer great comfort to those who are believing in the middle of pain, disappointment and uncertainty. They draw our hearts to the fact that life in Christ never fully makes sense this side of heaven. But then again faith is best expressed in the middle of uncertainty & questions!

Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. -John 6:68

Sense of mystery in Peter’s words! Sense of helplessness! Sense of not having it all figured out! All he can rely upon is the evidence of the past that has caused an unusual burning in his heart that nothing else brings!

TRUST in God; continuing to follow Jesus, comes, not through trying to work harder. To better ourselves and to become holier. That’s called leagalism…the default mode of our hearts.

Instead, trust in Jesus is actually built through continuing to surrender day after day to the uncertainty, disappointment, and ugly sinful desires that continue to rear their heads in our lives.

Not pretending that they aren’t there. Not, vowing to do better or punishing ourselves because we failed. But by acknowledging that we do fail, and that the acknowledgement of the failure is actually the ray of light & hope that is streaming into our hearts to awaken a dark and putrid organ, weak from trying to overcome sin alone. Worn out from years of trying to hold it together.

As we lean into Jesus depending upon his strength, not our own. We wind up saving our lives. Through depending on His strength instead of our own. Through actually NOT figuring it out, and acknowledging & accepting our failures & sins we continue down the journey of the saved soul.

The soul that is being renewed in light of the love and acceptance that we find in Christ. Through his grace & mercy we overflow with incredible, giggly joy & overwhelming forgiveness that enables us to breathe in the fresh air of eternal life. To begin to live a different sort of experience in this world.

Our lives become little by little characterized by the DNA of Jesus. As we follow, fail, acknowledge, fail again & allow Him to pick us up. We begin to learn to walk. Not b/c we have grown stronger but because the acknowledging of our weakness in being unable to do it on our own, has given us a new source of life to draw from.

Now we don’t struggle with guilt, anxiety, and darkness nearly as often. Instead we look to the light and we walk growing confident that in time, as we trust the one who is illuminating the path, we will learn a new sort of travel – not a walk, not a run but more of a wonderous skip in the dark that resembles foolishness & the height of joy & faith all at once (otherwise known as walking in the Spirit).